Sunday, June 30, 2013

Do You Have Time To Date Your Partner?

Before my daughters birth,  I knew that significant and important changes would happen after she came into the world. One of those significant changes were the amount of available time I had for me. Previously, I would be able to run out the door to the shops if I needed something urgent for dinner. Grab an hours kip after working a Saturday shift or even sit and watch television whenever I felt the need. That previous free time is used  caring for Lil Miss G and looking after her needs.

Where I previously had loads of time for Kangaroo Mum and I, it's not so readily available anymore. Raising your child takes a significant amount of your time, every day. I did not know how much time until I became a parent.

It soon became apparent to me and to Kangaroo Mum that we both needed two things. A dedicated amount of time to each other and also, some time to spend alone. That dedicated time to each other doesn't happen as often as we'd like for many reasons. One of those ways to get that time is to have a date night.

Now date nights do not always have to be a night event. A date time can be a period of a day (or night) spent with your significant other, without your children.

To me, having this date thingy made a lot of sense. I cherish and appreciate the time I get with Kangaroo Mum and there are times I want her, at a predetermined time, all to myself. It allows for some adult conversation, a chance to reconnect with her and for fewer interruptions from the daily activities of parenting, child rearing and all the other daily stuff that needs your attention (like housework). This also gives me opportunity for me to focus on KM.
Until now, KM has organised all the previous date nights and I've been strongly encouraged to arrange the next one, as well as the day and time. Thankyou honey, duly noted. To get a date, I need to book with KM and to set a day on the calendar to have the event. We also need to arrange for a baby sitter when we go out (a role relished by Kangaroo Grandma). I am happy for others to babysit, yet KM is not yet ready for anyone else to take that role.
It's important to us to have a date night as it is also important for us to have a strong, loving relationship and show we are still viable and vibrant as a couple, which does not mean we forget or leave out our child. I do not want to lose sight that Kangaroo Mums needs are no less important than everyone else in the family. She likes date night and looks forward to each occasion as much as I do.

Date night helps to keep our bond strong.

Both KM and I get to have an adult occasion and conversation away from distractions.

It helps to re-energise and help face the day to day challenges.

It also helps to not feel like your doing the same daily activities over and over and date night helps to break up the routine.

It is also good for your mental health!

Looking forward to my next date night. in the family. She likes date night as much as I do.

4 comments:

Liz Allan said...

I agree, KD - date night is very good for the mental health! I'm looking forward to keeping up with your blog and reading about parenthood from a male perspective. I'm visiting from over at http://muddleheadedmamma.blogspot.com.au

Emily Morgan said...

Such an important thing to do - to take time to be an adult among adults and to reinforce those relationships without the added complications and distractions of the label "parent." Though I'm a single mama, I completely understand this need and feel it myself - the need to remind my adult friends that I am still alive and capable of a conversation that doesn't revolve around my offspring. Great post!

Kangaroo Dad said...

Hi Liz,

Thanks for visiting and I have stopped by your blog already. Am keeping up with posts but been a bit dry as of late.

Cheers

KD

Kangaroo Dad said...

Hi Emily,

Thanks for stopping by. I always wanted to ensure and my partner feels the same that we keep on being adults. We don't stop being parents and we never stop talking about our kids.

Yes, having adult relationships is not any less important than being a parent.

Cheers

KD